I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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