Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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