Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
