And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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