oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
