im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
