I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
