life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
