i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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