White coat. Heels.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
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pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
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Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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