im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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