Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
