ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
sarcasm needs its own font
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
