Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize