apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
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There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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