if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
