how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
