hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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