i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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