We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
