I wish my penis had an off switch
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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