i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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