My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize