you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
