Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
