oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Randomize
