I'm jealous of your bromance
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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