My cat gives me a boner
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
