If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
that's an acceptable place to lick
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
is it fun? or sober?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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