so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
did you just send me my own nude
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
