im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
