i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize