i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
another moral hangover. fuck.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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