You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
