Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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