FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
