Is it because I queefed?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
