We're facebook friends in real life
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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