I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
