People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He passed out mid-signature
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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