Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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