In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
there's paper in my vomit.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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