i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
