I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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