Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
