operation harelip BJ is a go
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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