Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
