is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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