Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
