They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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