I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Please don't give away my fajitas
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
