He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
