I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
