is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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