GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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