okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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