I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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