Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
